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By Timothy Oostendarp

Men are from Mars and women from Venus. Or something like that. But it need not be this way. Let me tell you a secret of lasting love.

Do you want some more special one on one time with your mate? Tea could heal hurts, build bonds and light a bonfire of good feelings. Now who doesn't want that?

How do I know all this? My wife told me so, and I've experienced it myself!

The common refrain from my wife is Are you going to make tea tonight. That's because I'm notoriously inconsistent about making tea, and because it is my “responsibility.” It's my job to make tea. Well, that's how I viewed it anyway. Not so with my wife. Her view about tea is about daily romance and being romantic.

Tea between us is like a daily love note in a bottle.

To her, in the hustle and bustle of a very busy day, when it comes to hubby making the tea, it's all about saying I love you and you mean a lot to me. I wonder how many husbands are so enlightened about tea in this way? I wasn't! I wonder if a lot of women feel this way about tea and wish their husbands would drink tea with them.

I wonder how many would dare to care about tea in this way? To my wife, you can substitute “tea” in that last sentence with her name. Making tea is an expression of love toward her. What are you sharing with your mate?

It was a revelation to me that my wife viewed tea in this fashion—that it was about a shared moment in time. Something that built love. That shared a connection. Something that expressed love. And come to think of it, I can see her point. It is a nice respite and moment together.

It's like sharing a slow, meandering, horse drawn carriage ride along some lush and lumbering country road.

In life, where everything is so busy and there are fewer and fewer moments for each other, nothing says I love you than a shared pot of tea.

Time almost stands still.

The frenetic, mad dash of life drifts to a serene, lazy crawl.

But don't expect your husband or wife to just understand your meaning if you put on a pot of tea. Just like my wife who had to tell little old stupid me of the purpose of why she wanted that time and effort from me, you had also better tell them what you think about the romance of tea and genuinely help them get into the romantic swing of things. If need be, buy the supplies from your favorite loose leaf tea supplier and give it as a gift.

Oh, and the secret of understanding, intimacy, and togetherness? Why of course, it's spending that undivided one-on-one time together. But you figured that out already!

Timothy Oostendarp is co-owner of RedUmbrella Tea, Canada's loose leaf tea company. To get in touch with Tim, please contact him at timo@redumbrella.ca. RedUmbrella Tea can be found at www.RedUmbrella.ca.